That Pesky Critical Inner Voice
Do you a have an annoying inner critical voice chronicling your mistakes and imperfections?
Do you wish you knew how to get this voice to just shut up?
The “Mini-Me”
Self-critical thoughts accompany most people to one degree or another throughout the day, or in circumstances that evoke self-criticism. If you are not paying attention, you can let these critical thoughts have free reign and create havoc in your life, like a critical “mini-me” who chronicles your deficiencies and mistakes as you move through your day.
You may not like this critical “mini-me”, but condemning it will only serve to strengthen it. The time and emotional energy you invest in hating something only feeds its presence in your life. The more you dislike something, the more it sticks to you, and the more influence it has on the quality of your inner state.
You cannot get rid of anything in your life by hating it. Love is the healing agent in all situations. This is a universal Truth.
If you can find a positive way to view this critical “mini-me”, you can lessen its stronghold on your inner life.
It is quite possible that these self-critical thoughts are from a part of yourself that is trying to protect you from doing things that evoke shame or humiliation. From its point of view, if it criticizes you, perhaps you will not do or say something that could cause you shame or humiliation.
With this perspective, is it easier to be kind towards that self-critical “mini-me”? After all, it is only trying to help! If you can see it with kindness and compassion, you are in a much better place to lessen the hold this “mini-me” has on your beliefs about yourself.
Why carry boulders up a mountain?
Change is much easier and more readily accomplished when you are not beating yourself up or putting yourself down.
If you can see yourself from an objective “looking at the facts” place (rather than a place of self-condemnation), you are much more capable of setting kind and reasonable expectations for yourself. This paves the way for setting kind and reasonable expectations for your children as well.
From a logical perspective, if you want to change yourself, why burden yourself with a load of criticisms to make the change process even more difficult?
With my clients, I often use the analogy of climbing a mountain. If you are climbing a mountain, why pick up rocks and boulders to add to your load? It is neither efficient not practical.
Try practicing just noticing what you would like to change for next time, and moving on. No punishment or criticism is required.
Changing your self-critical thinking habits is an ongoing practice of self-acceptance, along with consciously setting reasonable and practical expectations for yourself. Please be kind to yourself in this process. Remember, love is the healer.
Self- love and the ability to love others are two sides of the same coin. The more you can genuinely accept and love yourself the deeper your capacity to love others and the more compassion you will have towards all sentient beings with whom we all share this world.